My Re:You Journey - Part 2
Oct 25, 2022
Disclaimer
Re:You Health are pleased to present a series of blog extracts from one of our patients and her journey leading up to bariatric surgery and beyond.
As with all personal recollections, this journey and opinions expressed are hers. We look forward to assisting you on whatever you would like to be yours.
The lead up…
This time, opening the sliding door to the rooms at Re:You felt easier. The door felt lighter too. I knew the door wasn’t lighter, it just wasn’t heavy with my fear.
My Doctor was ready for me. She knew I had made up my mind so we went through the next steps that would lead up to surgery. Appointments were made with the Surgeon, Dietitian, Exercise Physiologist and Psychologist and more with her too. I found all of these appointments to be invaluable. Each specialty was working to get me to ready, mind, body and spirit, for my surgery.
Unpacking my history with being overweight, the reasons why I ate and the subsequent emotions that I felt daily had to be dealt with. I knew if I wasn’t completely honest and placed my trust 100% in this group of specialists I wouldn’t get the most out of my new commitment.
The dietitian was excellent in explaining to me foods and the very low calorie diet (VLCD) that I would be on the 2 weeks leading up to my surgery, the 6-8 week liquid diet immediately post-surgery which progressed to puree and then to lumpy food that would help my healing gut. Food intolerances and new portion sizes were discussed and the importance of listening to my body was heavily emphasized. This really resonated with me. I knew that I had lost my mind/body connection a long time ago and would ignore the signals that told me I was full. It was time to make a clean break from these previous cycles.
The exercise physiologist was very realistic about my capabilities too and was able to modify and suggest the movements that would help me recover better and maintain muscle mass as my weight decreased post-surgery. She was very encouraging.
My surgeon was factual, honest and extremely thorough. He made sure I knew what was ahead of me and the commitments I needed to make to myself pre and post-surgery. The types of bariatric surgery were discussed and together we made a choice that was right for me and my expectations.
So the months went by, many appointments made with the whole team until I was ready … or was I?
Having an actual surgery date was exciting but also filled me with so many questions. Some reasonable, some absolutely not. It was very reassuring to know that I had the support of the team to talk through my fears. Nothing was off limits and they never once made me feel foolish. My two greatest fears being 1) death and 2) my life crutch being taken away – food. How was I ever going to soothe my good, bad, happy and sad days without large amounts of whatever I wanted to indulge myself in? If I had to tell you the truth, I don’t know which option was my greatest fear!!!! This statement alone tells me that I was absolutely about to do the right thing!
July 7– here I come!
I wanted to be able to focus on myself once July 7 came. I wanted to be able to go into hospital knowing that my family would be ok and I could focus on sleeping, healing, small amounts of movement initially and my mind/body connection.
I prepped family meals and froze them. I also cooked up all the stages of food that the dietitian had told me about and froze them all into portion-controlled meal sizes. I purchased all my vitamins, supplements and protein powders. This way I knew that my nutritional needs could be taken care of and I was having the right amount of liquids and proteins to optimize my healing and lead to success.
I also wanted to have as little “noise” in my head as possible. I banned myself from Doctor Google and I kept my surgery and the date close to my chest. I only told those who I know would understand and not fill my head with what their “preconceived” ideas were about bariatric surgery. I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed to be having the surgery, I was doing this for me.
You know it’s funny, when it comes to attitudes toward bariatric surgery I can really compare people’s comments to like when you have a newborn – lots of advice, usually unwanted, but hey, where are they at 3am when everything has fallen apart and you are on the floor sobbing!
As it was after my surgery, I told only a few people who then asked me “why did I do it?”. They were happy with the way I looked – my answer, I wasn’t and I did this for ME!
The other golden one is that surgery is the “easy” option. I can assure you it was not. It took and takes a level of dedication. You are having a permanent, life changing surgical procedure. But let me tell you, the last 2 years have been a lot easier and full of so much more joy than the levels of despair that I experienced for the previous 35years due to my weight.
The ability to wear a pair of shorts the same size for two summers in a row – miraculous. To see my reflection at the gym and smile – thrilling. To be able to enjoy all types of food in much smaller quantities without guilt –delicious. To wave goodbye to the mind games – liberating!
To love me, all of me, what I deserve!